Day Seventy: Wellness Center Fitness Assessment Sans Montage Music

I'm going to start working out if it kills me, and if my recent fitness assessment is any indication, it probably will. Okay, I'm being overdramatic about that, but stil...

As mentioned in a previous post, I recently joined a gym. In my entire thirty-nine years of lackidasical existance, I've been a member of at least three gyms, not counting my current membership. Of them all, I think the East Jefferson Wellness Center has to be one of the nicest. The equipment is up to date and plentiful, the staff seem friendly and knowledgable, and there are a multitude of classes for every fitness level. They also offer a free fitness assessment when you join to help you meet your fitness goals.

A friendly staff member imparting the knowledge.

Today, I received my free assessment from a staff member named Rebecca. I was sitting in the waiting area, waiting for the fun to begin, when I overheard the older gentlman sitting next to me talking to a staff member about an ultramarathon she had recently run. Not a marathon. An ultramarathon. Apparently, she had run so hard, they had to take her out on a stretcher. Wouldn't you know it, this staff member ended up being my fitness assessor.

This picture isn't blurry. The camera was just overwhelmed by her fitness awesomeness.

We started by taking my blood pressure, height and weight, and my body mass composition. My BP was fine. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I've lost 7 pounds since I last weighed myself. I also learned that I'm a half inch taller than I previously thought. I know. I know. It's the simple things in life that make you happy. If only I could grow a few more inches without losing or gaining inches horizontally, I wouldn't need a fitness blog. My body mass compostion was a little less thrilling. Basically, I stood barefoot on a machine while holding onto two metal handle thingies while standing still and wondering if sucking in my gut would do any good. To answer the question: No. No, it won't.

Also, it doesn't take bribes. Don't bother.

The results revealed that while I'm at a good weight overall, and I do have a good consistency of lean body mass, I'm a few pounds over where I need to be body fat wise. Most of it is in my "trunk", which apparently, has a lot more "junk" than absolutely necessary.

That was the "resting" measurement portion of my assessment. Next came the "active" portion. This consisted of me balancing on each leg for thirty seconds, doing a plank for thirty seconds, performing as many pushups as I could do (one), and step aeorbics on a platform with three risers, for three minutes, while staring at a cabinet without a motivational kitten poster or montage music. Somehow, I pulled through.

Next, we went out into the main gym where I was made to do a series of strength training exercises. I learned the proper form for doing, well, everything, and I learned how to use a kettlebell without giving myself a concussion. I also learned that I look constipated when I do a reverse tricep pushup.

Need...more...BRAAAAAN!!!

Next up, cardiovascular! This one brought back memories of Highschool PE class. I alternated between doing jumping jacks, cross body toe touches, high kicks, and speed skating, thirty seconds of each, four times. That doesn't sound like much until you realize you're doing them quick with only a little break in between. At least now I can do them without the extra forty pounds I had when I was a chubby teenager.

We tried out the stairmaster, which was easier to use than many of the other stair-type machines I had tried in the past, as well as some of the weight machines. Although some of them look a litte complicated, I was assured that any member of the staff would be happy to show me how to use them.

So, after all this, I was rated at an intermediate level of fitness. Not too shabby for a gal who spends most of her down time pounding away at a keyboard.

Oh, and I haven't forgotten my end of the month pic from February. I just got caught up in stuff, as is my custom. So here it is, and stop nagging. Be advised, I didn't have anyone to hold the camera for me, and I didn't have a tape measure, so no body measurements this time.

END OF MONTH TWO:

 

Weight: 133.2

Day Fifty-Six: Adventures with Yoga

There's no sugar coating the facts. I hate exercise. Given a choice between binge watching multiple seasons of Bones or jogging on my treadmill, I'll pick binge watching every time. I'm just naturally lazy. It also doesn't help that my treadmill is loud and I live in an apartment complex with thin walls and a neighbor who sleeps most of the day because he works nights. That or he's a vampire.

Not my neighbor. Thank the gods.

This hasn't helped my weight loss journey in the least bit, but I've been trying, by golly, and by trying, I mean I've been roped into doing yoga with my sister. She joined a yoga studio about a month ago and has been nagging me to try it. At first, I wasn't too enthusiastic. From what I've seen on TV, it's just a lot of weird poses, trying to balance yourself on one foot, and a bunch spiritual mumbo jumbo that I'm just not into, but I was getting desperate to find a new routine that didn't bore me to death, so I tried Yoga Krewe's 30 for 30 package (for first timers only) where you can attend unlimited classes for thirty days at thirty dollars. I figured if I didn't like it or didn't get much of a workout from it, I wouldn't have wasted that much money. And really, how hard could it be?

Yeah, turns out Yoga is a lot harder than you would think. Since starting the class, I've discovered muscles I didn't know I had. It also strengthens your core muscles, which I apparently have. I learned this when they made their presence known by letting me know how unhappy they were that I've neglected them for so many years. I've also discovered that the only way to get me to a 6 AM class is to bribe myself with a donut. Guess what one of my cheats was this month?

Two of these. The other one was in my stomach before I could take the picture.

Two early morning classes and the only way I could force myself to make it to either one was to sleep in my workout clothes the night before and bribe myself with a plain cake donut. And the only reason there wasn't glaze on that thing was because I couldn't quite bring myself to waste all the effort it took to make the class in the first place.

In spite of my early morning donut slip ups, I've kept to my calorie limit (except for one day when I went way over, ironically, when there were no donut bribes to be had), and I do enjoy the classes. Getting to them is a pain, however, especially since the studio is all the way the hell over in Gretna. Because of this, I've decided not to renew my membership there. Instead, I've signed up for a membership at East Jefferson Wellness Center. The membership fee is only $60, which isn't too shabby compared to the $99 unlimited class fee at Yoga Krewe. Not that the Krewe hasn't been wonderful. The instructors there are really nice, know what they're doing, and are patient with less than agile members such as myself, but I'll be getting more out of it since the Wellness Center offers classes other than yoga, has workout equipment, a pool, and a sauna.

Not a donut, but it'll do.